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Monthly Archives: January 2010

Crystal.

Due to an argument on BBC Question Time over climate change, I felt the cross compulsion to explain; snow is not an argument against global warming. Listen carefully – as the world warms up, the ice caps melt, this fresh and still rather cold water flows out into the seas, shutting down various ocean currents, one [...]

iPeriod.

It’ll be all over your front page in the morning. In a few months, adverts of man’s hand fondling it will flood onto the TV screen. In a year, you won’t be able to walk into a Pret a Mange in Central London without knocking some pinstriped persons purchase of the impossibly slight screen. It’s [...]

Epiphany.

So I was eating live bunnies and burning money (or whatever it is you think I would normally do) after writing my last post, when it dawned on me: a shrinking ray would solve everyone’s problems. First off, if we shrunk everyone and everything, we would have more space, and as much of it as [...]

Close.

So the clean shaven guy walks in to the mechanics, and the mechanic says something about whatever, and tells him to come round the back. Round the back are these massive Gillett razors on pillars. The mechanic man says something like, “Oh yeah, this is the problem, the blades are old.” And the guy nods [...]

Juju.

“What? It’s when? 2010? Well why the hell did no one tell me!” I was first going to entitle this post ‘Beginnings.’ but I could practically hear the clichés that would follow. I always liked the word cliché because I liked to believe it was onomatopoeic, and that it derived from the noise people make when they [...]