It’ll be all over your front page in the morning. In a few months, adverts of man’s hand fondling it will flood onto the TV screen. In a year, you won’t be able to walk into a Pret a Mange in Central London without knocking some pinstriped persons purchase of the impossibly slight screen. It’s here, and it’s going to change the world. Maybe. It’s going to do what its cousin did for music, and what its inbred older brother did for phones, and what its father did for long sleeve, collarless, black t-shirts tucked into jeans. Maybe.
There’s no denying that it’s rather cleaver and that newspapers need to figure out how to use it to their advantage before they are trampled by the speeding stampede of crazy apple fan boys as they storm toward the white wash walls of the apple store. It even looks like it’s from the future; a sheet thin hub that connects you straight into the infrastructure that makes life worthwhile and possible – the internet.
However, there is one mistake, which is unfortunate, but was avoidable. All of this fantabulous technology which verges on witch-craft is, in the flick of a key stroke, dashed thanks to its unfortunate and unofficial name. iTampon.
Really, apple lucked out with iPod, being both brilliantly descriptive of the product, but also very clear and unambiguous. The iPhone was obvious. The iPad however, could have been almost anything else.
‘iPortal’ was my initial thought, seeing as it follows the rule of ‘P’. Although it does have two syllables. ‘iSlate’ would corrected this, however it doesn’t begin with ‘P’. Oh the dilemma! I can imagine the heated debates over the issue now, fists banging birch tables in the glass and white office, debating over what on earth to call this invention. And to land on iPad is a mistake that someone, somewhere, will be very annoyed with.
In the first few moments before the press release, twitter buzzed with trending topics such as iSlate and iTablet. It was then announced and iPad became an extremely popular hashtag, mostly thanks to retweeted @mashable posts. And then, low and behold, as the conference closed, as the word spread, and as people questioned the name, the telepathically and internationally agreed upon deliberate misnomer was ascribed and shot straight to the second spot of the trends.
And so, I now implore you, please, prepare for the onslaught. Not only will tomorrow find you burdened with the over bearing face of Steve Jobs on every paper, but you will also find yourself stuffed like a turkey with iTampon related jokes. Something crude about absorbency, I don’t know, but people will have their favourite and people must share, maybe they’ll even have one they made themselves. Beware; they are coming, with drum rolls and symbol clashes cued to ring round your brain. Oh joy.
PnL.x
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